The future is murky


PET-CT scans, a fourth ophthalmologist… and still no firm diagnosis for my eye. The future is murky. Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. William Osler This post is a brief update on what’s been going on in my little bubble since my medical oncologist expressed doubt about the raised retina being a metastasis of my breast cancer that was near stage 0. That was three...

Again in liminal space


I’ve never been one to do a year-end review or set resolutions for the New Year. And I won’t be doing so now, in these first days of 2023. Rather, I’ve long thought that each new day offers a new beginning. I declare my intentions, decide on my priorities, and take action accordingly. More a plodder than a planner by nature, I typically take steady baby-steps towards my chosen goals. If he give...

Oh, my eye!


“Judging that your breast cancer was caught at an early stage – my index of suspicion is low.” That is what my oncologist wrote to me after the first ophthalmologist examined my left eye and told me I have early signs of cataracts, but also a raised area on my retina that “may” indicate the return of my breast cancer. In my eye! In just the last few weeks, my left eye developed a cloudiness...

What I do with lemons


When the Trickster throws me lemons, I can do better than make lemonade. A week ago, my operating system, Win10, seems to have decided I had worked it too hard and went on strike. Stopped functioning. Kaput. And didn’t want to repair, nohow. My honey spent days installing, wiping out, re-installing the system and all my programs. At least three times, it crashed again. Meanwhile, I had sporadic...

No fear of death


I don’t stop to think about death often. But when I do, as I did today, it triggers no anxiety in me. I’m not talking about the dying part of the process, the cause of death, the time—minutes or months—before the moment of death. That, we all know too well, can be gruesome. None of us wants to suffer in pain or die in an undignified manner. It’s the key reason I submitted my...

Is It Coincidence?


Life keeps me on my toes. For instance, I stay alert to observe instances of coincidence. And lately there’s a whole batch of them! Synchronicity is a concept the Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung first introduced in 1932. His 1952 essay was titled Synchronicity: An Acausal Connecting Principle. As he defined it, synchronicity is more than simple coincidence. Synchronicity is the coming together of...

When I grow up


It’s interesting—and fun—how the universe conspires to inspire. Over the past two weeks, I’ve been given signals to write a bit more about my lifelong inability to settle down and choose what I want to be when I grow up. I admire people who seem to have their purpose and destiny carved in their DNA. You know, the person who knows deep in their soul at the age of 15 that they are meant to become a...

Disrupting my peace


This past week, I met mumbles, stumbles, and rumbles to disrupt my otherwise peaceful life. I reflect on what these minor events and my low energy may mean to me. Mumbles The first event that had me scratching my head is similar to something most people can relate to: walking into the kitchen and forgetting why you went there. I’ve done that plenty of times, and not only during the pandemic years...

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