70 lessons at 70: Proof I paid attention (most of the time)

Every decade, I’ve marked my birthday with something unforgettable. At 30, I woke up in London,  had champagne in a pub, and made it to a party in Versailles by dinner. At 40, I threw a rooftop bash with a live band in Manila. At 50, I lunched with friends on Victoria Peak in Hong Kong and hiked down through a tropical forest. At 60, my honey and I floated over Moldova’s capital in a hot air balloon.

And tomorrow, as I turn 70—weather permitting—I’ll hop into a Cessna and fly over some of the wild, beautiful west coast of Canada. Because I still can. And because I’ve learned that feeling fully alive is reason enough.

The journey here hasn’t always been a walk in the park. Cancer showed up, first in my breast, then in my eye, and while I’m in good shape now, the journey changed me. Made me a little tougher, a little softer, and a lot clearer about what actually matters.

So here they are—70 lessons, give or take a few rewrites. Some are deep. Some are obvious. Some I had to learn the hard way. But all of them are mine. (Sort of in order of shortest to longest, hehe.)

1. I don’t need to react to everything
2. Hugs and laughter are the best medicine
3. Brutal truths can be stated with compassion
4. People care differently. I see that—and I value it
5. Avoiding conflict only gave it more space to grow
6. First impressions don’t always tell the whole story
7. The right questions matter more than the answers
8. Luck—both good and bad—plays a role in our lives
9. I don’t care what people think; I watch how they act
10. Travel stretched my thinking and widened my world
11. The more I learn, the more I realize how little I know
12. I measure a good life by how much I’ve helped others
13. I win some, I lose some, and I’ve made peace with it all
14. I aimed to live without big regrets—and I can say I have
15. I don’t need all the answers, and I don’t need to be right
16. Complaining changes nothing unless I do something too
17. Self-compassion is not just a nice to have—it’s imperative
18. Good habits made the difference. Bad ones made the mess
19. I can’t fix someone’s struggle—but I can be there through it
20. Gratitude didn’t erase the hard times—but it softened them
21. Growth, to me, means staying curious and open to learning
22. I’ve found more value in experiences than I ever did in stuff
23. Both good and bad days are temporary—and that’s a comfort
24. The way I’m treated reflects what I tolerate—and what I don’t
25. The older I get, the less anyone cares what I’ve accomplished
26. Success taught me a few things; mistakes taught me far more
27. The real rewards are found in the journey, not the destination
28. I avoid gossip because I’ve seen how easily it turns against me
29. No matter how high the barriers, there’s always a way forward
30. Worry never solved tomorrow’s problems—it steals today’s joy
31. Self-discipline is doing what I want more over what I want now
32. I recognize that strength includes knowing when to ask for help
33. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’ve always been fine with that
34. Many of my disappointments came from misplaced expectations
35. It was never about being perfect; only about being true to myself
36. Few choices are forever; I’ve trusted myself to pivot when needed
37. It may be a cliché, but it holds up: to have a friend is to be a friend
38. Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to think of me
39. When I choose joy for myself, it often becomes a joy for others, too
40. I set my own terms for success—and by those terms, I’ve done well
41. I’ve had dreams, made plans, taken action, but let go of the outcome
42. Hate, envy, and resentment don’t serve me—they just waste my time
43. Looking for beauty helps me stay steady when the world feels heavy
44. Keeping my mind sharp and my body moving keeps me feeling young
45. It was the mix of discipline and passion that moved me toward success
46. I’ve seen how even the smallest kindness can leave a lasting impression
47. Happiness is an inside job; no one else can make me happy or unhappy
48. Nothing truly worthwhile came without pushing through the hard parts
49. Even when it was hard, I chose grace and integrity over burning bridges
50. I only promise what I can keep—my word is the measure of my integrity
51. Leaving room for doubt keeps me open to new evidence and perspectives
52. I’ve put in the work, but I’ve never forgotten I’m here to live, not just hustle
53. “To thine own self be true…” has been my compass, guiding me through life
54. Suffering is an inside job; how I feel about the sh*t that happens is up to me
55. I can accept differing opinions, but I won’t stand for behavior that causes harm
56. The stronger relationships in my life are built on deep trust and mutual respect
57. Turns out I didn’t need to be a genius to make a difference—I just needed to try
58. People don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say; I wish they did
59. Comparing myself to others is a waste—there’s always someone better or worse
60. I’ve grown more compassionate—toward others, yes, but especially toward myself
61. I used to be a firebrand. Now I pick my battles—and let more things roll off my back
62. Safety in a relationship means being able to disagree and not fear losing connection
63. My self-worth doesn’t depend on titles, achievements, or anyone else’s opinion of me
64. I carry quiet thanks for the stranger angels who helped me without ever knowing me
65. Life isn’t a straight path—it’s full of unexpected challenges and surprising discoveries
66. There may be no knights on white horses, but there are good people who care and will help
67. I’ve found fulfillment in being a Jill of all trades, rather than chasing mastery in just one thing
68. The years have mellowed me. What mattered in my youth is different from what matters now
69. Once I could name it, I could handle it. Once I could measure it, I could master it—and that made all the difference
70. Laughing at my own missteps and having a sunny disposition has brought more peace than taking life—or myself—too seriously ever did

Let me know in the comments which ones hit home, or made you roll your eyes. I’m 70. I can take it.

You can also let me know if you want me to dive deeper or explain my take on any of these lessons.

And if you’re wondering how I plan to keep going strong in this next decade, Edith Wharton said it best:

In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.

Here’s to all of that—and then some.