The living legacy: where family stories meet life lessons

A time sensitive invitation. Have you ever wished you’d captured the life stories of a loved one before they were gone? Or maybe you’ve wondered what stories and wisdom of your own you should leave behind? That box of old photos in the attic, those holiday traditions whose origins are now fuzzy, or that family recipe with missing steps because grandma just knew how much flour “felt right” – they all remind us of stories left untold.

I know I wish I had asked and recorded more. Much more.

For instance, my grandmother spent a fascinating quarter century in Java, Indonesia, when it was still colonized and known as the Dutch East Indies. She was an enthusiastic storyteller, but I never recorded her tales. I was still a young teenager when I first heard about the time she was on horseback, riding ahead of a group in a tropical forest, when a large boa constrictor slithered its head out from a tree branch and stared at her eye-to-eye. The horse stopped dead in its tracks, and it felt to her that she and the horse stood there frozen for a long time before the rest of her party caught up. Next, she heard a loud crack, her heart skipped a beat or two, and the boa fell limp—their guide had shot the snake dead.

Another time she snoozed on a beach and woke up next to a crocodile! Life in Java seemed to bring one wild encounter after another. There was the time a gorilla came up to their home and reached in through the window to take my mother as a baby from her crib. Fortunately, no harm came to her; I’m here to tell the story. Hehe.

Regrettably, in my grandmother’s last years, when I could spend more time with her, she already had signs of dementia, and she died before I had the wisdom to ask more about her life. Today, I would have appreciated hearing more about her family living a luxurious “expat” life in those colonial times, or details about her hard years living through WWII in Belgium, or about her migration to Canada.

The thing is, in our younger years we are focused on our studies, developing our careers, or raising a family. All of that is time-consuming, and we think there’s plenty of time to spend with our elders, or even to record our own observations and feelings. We fail to notice the passing of time. Then one day, oops, it’s too late.

Your story is the greatest legacy that you will leave to your friends. It’s the longest-lasting legacy you will leave to your heirs.

Steve Saint

Although I can’t go back in time to capture more of my grandmother’s stories, I can help others avoid similar regrets. That’s why I’m particularly excited about my friend Judith Guertin’s work (All Ways Organized). While creating her recently launched “Beyond the Estate Plan Quick Start Guide: Your Accelerated Path to a Secure Future,” she came to an important realization. As she helped families organize their essential documents and information, she discovered something profound: the most precious inheritances aren’t stored in filing cabinets at all.

Think about it—your will tells your family what they’ll get, but your stories tell them why it matters. Your documents show what you owned, but your memories reveal what you truly valued. And beyond the memories, there are the life lessons you’ve learned, the values that guided your decisions, and the wisdom you’ve gained along the way.

Then Judith had a sobering thought: If you see your aging parents just four times a year, and they’re in their late-70s, you might have only eight more visits left. Eight more chances to capture their stories. But it’s not just about collecting their stories—it’s also about sharing yours. What life lessons do you want your children to remember? What values shaped your biggest decisions? What wisdom would you want to pass on?

You’re invited

That’s why Judith has created a special intimate gathering called “Eight More Visits: Making the Most of the Time (and Stories) We Have Left.” She’s invited our mutual friend Ardis Mayo (The Reflective Pen) and me to join her for this online conversation (on Zoom) about storytelling.

I, in turn, invite you to come listen in at no cost to you, and perhaps share your thoughts or ask questions.  We will talk about:

• How you can weave storytelling into your family’s practical planning
• Ways to document the stories behind your family treasures
• Natural conversation techniques to share and capture family histories
• Preserving your family’s values, wisdom, and life lessons for future generations
• Identifying the pivotal moments in your life that shaped your values and decisions
• Creating meaningful ways to share your personal wisdom and life lessons

Event details

Note that spaces are limited.

Register HERE.

Whether you’re tech-savvy or prefer pen and paper, whether you’re just starting to think about preserving family stories or already have a plan in mind, this judgment-free space welcomes you exactly where you are. Because “someday” has a way of never arriving, and every family gathering holds precious stories waiting to be shared and captured.

Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.

Shannon L. Alder

As my friend wrote, remember, your legacy isn’t just about what you own—it’s about who you are and the wisdom you’ve gained along your journey. The estate planning documents she outlines in her first book, “Beyond the Estate Plan Guide: Important Details Your Family Needs When You Are Not Here To Tell Them,” and now her Quick Start Guide are crucial. Yet the stories, values, and life lessons that give those documents meaning are equally important. They’re the threads that weave your family’s unique tapestry, connecting past, present, and future generations through shared wisdom and understanding.

Will I see you online on Wednesday?

And while you’re registering, grab a copy of her quick start guide—for a short time, the Kindle version is only US$2.99. (Not an affiliate link.)

How are you gathering your family and your own stories?

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