Why I’m all about the care emoji (and not just because of my eye)

I’ve got this thing with emojis. And it began way back in the 90s when we all started emailing at work (remember that?). My colleagues called me the Smiley Queen, and when I left the company, one of my parting gifts from them was a denim shirt with a giant yellow smiley embroidered on the back. Yes, really.

I use it all the time. And it’s not just because I’m being overly sentimental or trying to out-cute everyone on Facebook. There’s a reason I often pick that emoji over the ❤️—the heart—and I’ll tell you why. But to really get it, I have to back up a little.

The emoji that made “love” kind of… meh

I know, I know—emojis are just digital doodles, right? But bear with me. Science says they’re a lot more than that; they are important non-verbal cues.

If you think about it, after the smiley, the heart emoji was the reigning champ for ages, the universal go-to for, well, everything warm and fuzzy. New puppy? ❤️ Brunch with friends? ❤️ Your grandma’s mashed potatoes? ❤️ Basically, it was like a one-size-fits-all hug for any and all moments.

But then… at least for me, it got old. Over-used. “Oooh, I love this!” The heart emoji started feeling like that friend who says “I love you” five minutes into knowing you. Sweet? Yes. A bit much? Also yes. It’s like “love” got sprinkled on everything, until it started feeling more than a little watered down. Now, if I’m honest, seeing a heart emoji kind of makes me feel like, “Wait… you really love that?” Or maybe I should say, “Wait… you really love that?”

While it’s great for expressing positive feelings, the heart sometimes loses meaning when used for non-personal things. So, as an antidote to the great love emoji overuse epidemic, I switched over to the care emoji as soon as Facebook introduced it. For me, it’s a way of preserving the strength of “love” by reserving it for deeply personal moments (or posts). The care emoji, meanwhile, feels versatile, meaningful, and compassionate without the intensity or casual overuse of the heart. In sum, I’m saying what I mean and meaning what I say.

Feel the presence of love wrapped up within a hug.

Robert M. Hensel

Why the care emoji feels right to me

First of all, the care emoji has this softer vibe. It’s got levels. I can send it when I want to say “I’m here for you,” or “I saw what you posted and I get it,” or “Well said, I support you,” or “Hey, here’s a hug to make you feel better.” It’s not as big or flashy as a heart, but that’s what I like about it. It’s thoughtful without being intense.

And honestly? Sometimes I need something easy-going because (if you’re new to this online journal) I have a tumor in my left eye. It’s cancerous, and it messes with my vision.

Because of that, commenting isn’t always easy for me, especially when I’m on my smart phone. Imagine scrolling through your feed and needing to squint at everything like you’re Sherlock Holmes deciphering clues. Sometimes I can’t even see what I’m trying to comment on! And in those moments, the care emoji steps in like a trusty sidekick. It’s a way for me to say, “Hey, I’m here and I care,” without having to squint out a mini-novel just to let someone know I see them.

A hug puts a smile on your heart.

Matshona Dhliwayo

All the feelings (and then some) in one little hug

I know that emojis can be as perplexing as words. It’s complicated, and emojis can mean different things to different people in different cultures. So I can only speak for myself.

To me, the care emoji just gets it. Here’s the rundown of the emotions that little face can cover:

• Empathy. Someone’s sharing a hard time? The care emoji is like sending them a cozy blanket. No big speeches needed.
• Solidarity. Perfect for those “I’m right there with you” moments. Think of it as a little fist bump with more heart.
• Encouragement. When someone’s starting a new project or venturing into the unknown, I send the care emoji. It’s a subtle “You got this!” without the glitter.
• Platonic affection. Honestly, this is the friend-zone MVP. I don’t need to heart my friend’s sandwich pic, but the care emoji? —chef’s kiss.
• Comfort and reassurance. Sometimes, I just need to let someone know I’m around. The care emoji is like a hug without the awkwardness.

Basically, the care/hug emoji is the Swiss Army knife of emojis.

A hug is always the right size.

Winnie the Pooh / A A Milne

Why the care emoji matters to me

Okay, now for the heart-to-heart moment. Having cancer in my eye isn’t exactly a walk in the park (although I do a lot of that!) To some, I may seem over-active on social media (and I have my reasons for that), but some days, commenting feels like climbing a long set of stairs. I want to connect with people I care about, but writing out a response can be tough when my vision’s wonky and everything’s blurry. The care emoji is a shortcut, sure, but it’s also a little bit of myself that I can still share with people, even when I don’t have the stamina (or time) for the words.

Sometimes, the heart emoji just feels too big for the moment, like I’d be forcing a “love” when I really just want to say, “I see you, and I’m here.” It’s like the difference between a grand declaration and a soft, quiet understanding.

The care emoji is not as heavy as the heart emoji, but it’s also not as bland as a thumbs-up (which nonetheless often feels appropriate, too). It’s that middle ground, a way to send a mini dose of kindness without overdoing it.

Plus, let’s be real—some people need it. Sometimes, I see friends post something vulnerable or share a personal story, and I don’t think they’re looking for “OMG LOVE THIS ❤️❤️❤️.” They’re looking for someone to really see them. The care emoji lets me say, “I get it, I care,” in the simplest, most genuine way possible.

And finally, I want to add, that off-screen, in person, I give and receive daily hugs. They ground me like nothing else can.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

Maya Angelou

Wrapping it up

Should you be wondering why I chose to write about this topic, here’s why. Recently, my dear friend Joan asked me what I mean when I use the care emoji to respond to her posts on Facebook. Specifically, her question was, “I know you use hearts sparingly, but what do you mean by the hug?”

Clear communication is important to me, as I know it is to her, so I’m glad she asked. I have learned when one person has a question, there are many others too shy to ask.

In our chat app, I responded with, “I could write a whole blog post about that!” To which she wrote, “maybe you should!!”

So here we are. Now you know why I’m all about the care emoji. Maybe it’s not the coolest, trendiest choice, but it’s real. It’s thoughtful. It’s that friend who’s there when you need them. And when it comes to expressing empathy or just showing up for people, that’s all I need.

That’s my take on the care emoji! Now I’m curious—what emoji do you reach for the most? Is there one that feels like “you,” or do you have strong feelings about any of them? Let me know in the comments.

PS. The status of my cancer is still unknown. Next week I’m going for my third PET-CT scan to find out whether the cancer has escaped my eye to other parts of my body. My next meeting with my oncologist is in December and with my ocular oncologist in January. I’m feeling healthy and hopeful.