As time goes by

The days are blurring together for me… and I now realize it’s been over a week since this lunar new year started… and my last post.

The thing is, the new year started just a few days after my near-daily radiation therapy treatments. Today was session 9 of a total of 16. Passed the halfway mark; another small win!

Happiness is all about celebrating small wins

Abdul Jawad Khattak

In an effort to prevent damage to my skin, I’ve been smothering an organic aloe vera gel on my affected breast multiple times a day. Sticky stuff, it is, and dealing with that—along with the to-and-fro of hospital visits—does divert me from doing things I’d rather be doing. It’s all just time-consuming.

Throughout my whole anti-cancer program that started just shy of four months ago, I’ve been paying attention to what my body wants to tell me. I’m thankful that so far there’s been no pain, telling me my body is strong enough to handle the assaults. Yay for that! Another win!

By lowering my usual peppy level of energy, my body called for me to take it slow and easy. Besides getting enough sleep (as usual), I’ve been reserving my oomph for my client work, and that has served me—and them—quite well, if I say so myself. Astonishingly, those bursts of energy have even enabled me to be the source of their energy and enthusiasm. And there I go, another win!

What strikes me anew today is how little my circumstances of the past months affect my sense of emotional well-being. As time goes by, I may be feeling a bit more lethargic than before during this continuing pandemic in the Philippines, but I can’t even tell anymore whether that’s just weariness from not getting out of this house into nature or the effects of the monstrous treatments. Perhaps a combination.

Yet I continue to live day by day, mostly calm and fearless, nurtured by my honey, and finding laughs and joy in the little things and the small wins. And all this shall pass. Getting closer!

My lovely friend Gigi shared today this poem that I can relate to and thought you might too.

As time goes by,
You will loosen your grip on that rock,
The one you always thought was home,
And you will realise that home is not a place,
It’s a state of mind.
Let it go.

As times goes by,
You will learn to see yourself more clearly,
The girl who was always too much of one thing,
And too little of another, was actually
Everything she needed to be.
Let her out.

As time goes by,
You will let the simple things become the big,
And you will allow the big things to become the simple,
And that readjustment will be,
The day you really start to live,
Let it be.
.

As time goes by,
You will be forced to say goodbye many times,
And your soft little heart will shatter but,
It will still beat and that will bring you,
All the purpose you need.
Let it beat.

As time goes by,
You will stop choosing wealth over peace,
You will stop choosing money over time,
And you will see that the treasures you need,
Are in the smiles and the laughter.

Let them in.

As times goes by,
The moments you remember when your life flashes past,
Are never the awful memories my friend, it’s the joy,
The summer nights, the lazy days with loved ones,
The midnight chats and the morning hugs,
Let them happen.

Let them all happen.

Donna Ashworth

Yes, I let them all happen.

You?

PS. If my thoughts resonate with you, leave a comment or share with someone (or your network) who may also appreciate them.

8 comments

  • I looooove the piece of wisdom. Life is long and happy if we let moments happen. I have many moments with you that come to me regularly and will continue right to the end of this form of life. They lift my spirits. Love you.

  • I adore this reflection. We can be so bad at *living* while things are..well, just are. Your path is inspiringly and purely that.

  • Thank you Francisca, Yes to slow and easy and it gets done anyway…. or not. Thankyou for yrouy continuing inspirations. x

    • Oh yes, it gets done or not… and the sun will keep shining! Thank *you* Alison! While waiting for my turn in the hospital, I’ve been reading the final chapters of your book, “Daring to Feel” and they are a perfect reminder for me to stay present with my breathing. 🌸🙏🌸

By Francisca

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